“Cooperative Service & Enduring Love”
February 14, 2013
Today we observed Mr. & Mrs. Purple Finch enjoying sunflower seeds from this colorful birdfeeder we recently received from friends. It took the birds nearly two weeks to catch on but now they’re thoroughly enjoying it.
Note: We have shared the illustration in the following message in the past but we have many new readers and also suppose regular readers may very well benefit in reading it again. It’s one of the best examples of enduring love we ever personally witnessed.
Listen to this message on your audio player.“Through love serve one another” (Galatians 5:13). “Husbands, in the same way be considerate as you live with your wives” (1 Peter 3:7). “Love never fails” (1 Corinthians 13:8).
I will be faithful
I will be there through each and every storm
As sure as there’s a heaven up above
I will always love you
My love
We highly recommend it.
The fourth love language is “cooperative service”. In a healthy marriage partners are committed to serving one another in love. How this cooperative service works out in marriage will vary depending on our stage of life but newlyweds do well to establish a pattern of serving one another early in their marriage.
We live out in the country and periodically we lose electrical power. Since just about everything in our home relies on electric we find ourselves quite inconvenienced to say the least; no water since we have a well and pump, no heat, and no Internet. (Even our coal stove requires electricity to run the self-feeder.)
This brings to mind an event that took place near Valentine’s Day in 2005.
Our power had gone out due to a storm outage and after nearly six chilling hours with no electricity Brooksyne, Ester and I, along with my mom, who was living with us at the time, decided we needed to go somewhere for some warmth and working bathrooms. So I drove the four of us over to a Burger King about four miles away where we ordered our meals and sat down at a table.
Usually when we go to a fast food restaurant we do window service or quickly eat and leave (after all, it is “fast” food). Not this time, however, since we were in no hurry to give up our warm location to return to our cold home. We took plenty of time to eat and visit together and probably bordered on loitering.
As our meal dragged on and on we began to observe a frail elderly couple who were sitting right beside each other. Our view of them was obscured by the thick green plants in the privacy partition two rows over. It seemed somewhat peculiar that they were nestled close together side by side rather than sitting across from one another. I thought it rather sweet, kind of like a teenage couple on a date.
Being curious, I suggested to Brooksyne that she get more condiments, and go the long way around to get a view of this couple from the front. She came back with a full report.
They were seated close together because they were sharing a single meal. The husband was pinching off bird-sized portions of a hamburger and hand-feeding it to his wife. He broke the french fries into tiny pieces and gave her very small sips of the beverage through a straw. Apparently she had suffered a stroke and, though they were very small bites, it still took her a long time to chew each bite and swallow the food. He lovingly and patiently waited for her to chew and digest each bite before feeding her the next one.
We were both deeply touched by such a loving scene. Thoughts of Valentine’s Day bring about mental images of young romance that Jared’s, Hallmark, Russell Stover, and local florists market heavily especially at Christmas and Valentine’s Day.
Consider the media’s portrayal of love with a gorgeous Hollywood couple having a lavish wedding surrounded by paparazzi. So often the same headline couple becomes headlines again when they’re soon embroiled in a divorce battle.
However, we believe the full picture of genuine, mature, and enduring servant type love is evident in the old couple at the Burger King. Love’s passion will fizzle. Youth and vitality turns into a distant memory captured only in photos or deep in one’s heart. But true love will remain all the days of our lives when we take seriously the marital vows, “for better, for worse; in sickness and in health, till death do us part.”
This enduring love is at the very heart of Paul’s message in what is known as the Love Chapter: “Love never fails.” Endurance is a word defined as “the act, quality, or power of withstanding hardship or stress.” That’s the depth of tested love the world needs to see and emulate. As God’s children we are called to practice it and be living examples for those who look on. We should not only be attracted to each other, but we must remain committed to each other as well. Consider this when you express love this Valentine’s Day and everyday!
Be encouraged today,
Stephen & Brooksyne Weber
Daily prayer: Father, we thank You for the wonderful gift of love that we experience in a romantic relationship that often grows into a marital bond between a man and woman. It is a holy union in which devout believers make You the Cornerstone of their marriage and family. May they be a support to each other as they provide a loving and protective shelter from the bitter disappointments of life. May the fruit of the Spirit be evident in their daily walk both at home and in public places. Keep them wholly faithful to one another, rejecting every lustful temptation the devil sends their way. May they prove their love to each other with mutual respect, understanding, forgiveness, kindness, forbearance, and unity. In the precious name of Jesus we pray. Amen.
Brooksyne’s additional note: Some of you have “Valentines” who have gone to be with Jesus and memories fill your heart today. May you find the communion of the Holy Spirit to be your solace and constant Companion. I pray that Jesus, Your Bright Morning Star, will light your way today and into the unforeseeable future. May Christ who is the Lily of the Valley and the Rose of Sharon be as a sweet fragrance to you this day.
I also want to address those whose “Valentines” have greatly disappointed them. Theirs has not been an enduring love but rather a spouse who has left behind a trail of tears and pain. Often when we write about marital love or other such subject matter we receive sensitive email describing partners who are alcoholics, abusive, adulterers, and the list goes on. May the grace of Jesus be your sustaining strength and enduring hope.
Our Lord Jesus is all-sufficient to meet Your needs, no matter what they are. He is not only there for you but for your children and all who have been broken by the ungodly circumstances that surround you. Never give up and feel that you’re out of the sight of God. If He sees each time a sparrow falls, He’s certain to see each tear drop that falls from your eyes. The Psalmist in Psalm 147:3 writes, “He heals the broken-hearted and binds up their wounds.” The healing process may take awhile but I pray that you will rest on His goodness. Cast out your doubts and fears and trust God unreservedly!
And then I consider those whose Valentine has not yet appeared. You’re still waiting and wondering. Rely on God’s goodness and trust His guidance for all that concerns you, including your future.
Here are “The Five Love Languages” we are dealing with this week:
2) Quality Time Tuesday’s message
3) Thoughtful Gifts Wednesday’s message
4) Cooperative Service Today’s message
5) Physical Intimacy Friday’s message
I dedicate today’s message to my childhood neighbors, Pat and Lois Simpson. They lived right across the street from us on Lacy Lane in Belton Missouri from when I was in first grade till we moved from that area following my Freshman year in high school. Their son David was my best friend growing up, was my best man in our wedding, and we remain close friends to this day.
I called David last night and inquired about his Mom and Dad. His dad has had Alzheimer’s for several years and is no longer able to live at home. But Lois faithfully visits him five days a week. Dave’s mother wonders aloud why the Lord allows her husband to go through this and he told her, “Mom, perhaps it’s so that your children and grandchildren can witness what genuine and enduring love really is.”
We stopped by to see Pat and Lois about seven years ago when I was out that way and took the photo above in their home in Belton Missouri.Here’s a photo of David and his wife Sandy we took when we visited them in Springfield, MO several years ago.
On his way to see his best friend
For two years, he hasn’t missed a stride
To the nursing home to see his lovely bride
For sixty years, they’ve held each other close
And now the time has come to let go
He still recalls the promises they made
So long ago, on their wedding day
I will always love you
I will be faithful
I will be there through each and every storm
As sure as there’s a heaven up above
I will always love you
My love
Some days she can’t remember his name
But she holds onto his hand just the same
They’ve learned to speak with more than just words
And she knows just what he’s saying as he wipes away her tears
He watched her as she slowly slipped away
And said “I’ll see you again in heaven some day”
He got down on his knees and gave her to the Lord
He kissed her one last time as he whispered the words
I will always love you
I will be faithful
I will be there through each and every storm
As sure as there’s a heaven up above
I will always love you
My love
“Living By Vows” Video Article A testimony of enduring love by Robertson McQuilken as he cared for his wife with Alzheimer’s disease.
“The Five Love Languages” can be ordered at Amazon or many other sources.
Early this week a short news article was written about us titled: “Married Couple Serve As Internet Chaplains”
Yesterday we passed an Amish funeral gathering near New Holland PA.
These are articles we come across in the course of studying for these messages or just poking around the vast Internet. In most cases they are not necessarily related to the daily message but may be of interest to our readers. These articles will only be posted once and there will be new ones each post, assuming we come across material that we feel may be of interest. (To see previous links use the archive version.)
This song is not related to our message but we came across it and want to share it, dedicating it to our pastor peers in general and specifically to our pastor, John Keefer. ”The Pastor” Video Crystal River
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“Lasting Love” – A Valentine’s Day Message
February 14, 2012
Tuesday, February 14, 2012
Imagine my pleasant surprise when I entered the kitchen and spotted this warm Valentine’s Greeting from Brooksyne – complete with coconut, pecan and chocolate covered strawberries!
Listen to this message
“Lasting Love” – A Valentine’s Day Message
Today is Valentine’s Day when we celebrate romantic love. There’s no shortage of photos and stories of young love, couples in the springtime of their relationship; vibrant, strong, and attractive.
For several weeks we’ve been inundated with ads for flowers, candy, teddy bears and jewelry; tangible expressions of our love for each other. I remember well the first years of my relationship with Brooksyne and the romance that drew us together and eventually the maturing love that kept us together resulting in 35 years of marriage.
Today we want to share a story that goes beyond that of initial romance to one of enduring love expressed in a very tangible way.
Bill Fernan is one of many treasured friends we’ve known through our journey of life. He and his wife, Lenore, lived in the mountains of northern Pennsylvania in a spacious farmhouse with a large barn behind it. He was a retired engineer (at one time the chief engineer for a large corporation) and inventor who was always designing something new and original. We were amazed the day he showed us his own nautilus type fitness center he’d recently designed and built using bricks as weights. When we tried it out we were impressed by the heavy amount of weight the bricks weighed when we tried to lift them. Nearly eighty years of age, he was a thin man but strong, because he worked out on a daily basis. Brooksyne made frequent visits to see Bill who made custom mats and beautiful wooden frames in a room off his large barn. She and Bill did a little bartering; he’d make mats and frames for her cross stitching projects and she’d do calligraphy for select pictures he was framing.
Later in life Bill’s wife, Lenore, had a debilitating stroke and instead of admitting her to the nursing home Bill chose to lovingly care for her at home as long as he was able. That’s why he had built the nautilus so he could gain enough strength to lift her, turn her over, change her (this was before adult diapers), feed her, and every three or four hours day and night, Bill would gently turn her over so she wouldn’t get bed sores. (Stock photo on left.)
Several years later when he was finally forced to place her in a nursing home Bill told us he would still awaken each night at the hour he was accustomed to turning her. While we were living in Massachusetts we received word that our greatly respected friend, Bill Fernan, had passed away. He was in his mid-eighties at the time of his death. His wife was still living and being cared for in a nursing home until she passed away a year later.
Let’s consider another enduring love story over 4000 years old. According to our western customs Isaac had a most unusual courtship. His was clearly an arranged marriage, dutifully executed by Abraham’s faithful servant, and thoroughly recorded in Genesis 24 (which happens to be the longest chapter in Genesis.) They had just met one another on the occasion of our daily verse and I’m intrigued by the phrase “he loved her.”
This is the first time this expression is found in Scripture and indeed Isaac and Rebekah began a long and eventful life together marked by lasting marital love. Although we don’t know how old Rebekah was when she died, we are told that Isaac married at 40 and lived until he was 180! Scripture records that they were buried together.
Isaac’s love for Rebekah is further demonstrated when he prays for her on the occasion of her barrenness (Genesis 25:21).
In a rather interesting and perhaps overlooked detail Scripture records the two expressing their love for one another in a passionate embrace (26:8). (The KJV uses the word “sporting”, the NIV “caressing”.)
Still later we find the aging couple agonizing over the bad decisions their children had made (26:35, 27:46). That’s sure a timeless agony parents of all generations continue to deal with. Just yesterday we prayed with a broken-hearted parent concerning poor choices made by a child.
Like any marriage there was some conflict in the home and much overcoming, yet their marriage endured the storms of life. They surely had many of the same challenges married couples face today. They likely differed in their interests, personality and temperament. They dealt with infertility, sibling rivalry, favoritism and grief over their son Esau’s marriages. Our last glimpse into Rebekah’s life shows her and Isaac heartbroken as they send their son Jacob off to get a wife from her relative’s clan hoping for the best.
What do you mentally picture when it comes to marital love? The passion of newlyweds, a young couple as they push their newborn baby in a stroller, a middle-aged couple like us still holding hands in public or an 80-year-old as he regularly turns his invalid wife to prevent bedsores?
Look at the daily verse. Do you remember the words to a song, “Put a little love in your heart….and the world will be a better place!” What would our present world look like if husbands and wives everywhere genuinely loved their spouses with an enduring and sacrificial love like Bill Fernan demonstrated to his wife, Lenore? Flowers, jewelry, and candies are nice gifts that warmly say “I’m thinking of you this Valentine’s Day.”
But carrying out our promise to love our spouse “for better or for worse, in sickness and in health, for richer or for poorer till death do us part” is the greatest demonstration of one whose love has matured from that of romantic love to that of a tested abiding love. Think about that this Valentine’s Day!
Be encouraged today,
Stephen & Brooksyne Weber
Daily Prayer: Father, Your love for us is most visible in the great sacrifice You made in giving us Your only Son to die for our sins. John writes, “God is love” and it is Your love for us that shows us how to love one another. The love we have for our spouse doesn’t always bring about a warm, fuzzy feeling but at times is costly requiring great sacrifice. Help us to take our vows seriously and carry out that which we promise so that our tested love becomes an enduring love. As we do so, we honor the sacrament of marriage that You ordained, we honor our spouse, we are an example to others especially our children, and we fulfill the Scriptural command to be faithful to our mate.
Note from Brooksyne: Earlier this morning I made Stephen some chocolate covered juicy strawberries in celebration of Valentine’s Day as viewed in the earlier photo. As I type this note I see him filling my numerous bird feeders which is a romantic overture to me (since I really enjoy watching the birds eat). Interesting what aging will do in a long relationship to change your perspective on what conjures up a romantic gesture!
Today’s message is dedicated to my childhood neighbors Pat and Lois Simpson who are actively demonstrating today’s call to faithfulness. This July they will celebrate their 60th wedding anniversary. They lived right across the street from our family on Lacy Lane in Belton Missouri from when I was in first grade till we moved from that area following my freshman year in high school. Their son David, whom I met in first grade was my best friend growing up and we remain close friends to this day over 50 years later!
I spoke to David this morning and inquired about his Mom and Dad. His dad has had Alzheimer’s for several years and no longer is able to live at home. But Lois faithfully visits him a good part of each day. We’re certain that their enduring love is well-pleasing to God.
We last saw Pat and Lois about six years ago when I was out that way and took this photo in their home in Belton Missouri. They raised six children.
“Living By Vows” Video Article A testimony of enduring love by Robertson McQuilken regarding the care he gave his wife with Alzheimer’s disease.
“When God Made You” Video
“Only God Could Love You More” Video
“The Love Of My Life – A Wedding Song” Video
The beautiful rose arrangement photo used in today’s message was taken by our friend Doris High.
What is the Biblical view of marriage? (Notes from my sermon this last Lord’s Day.)
In an age when family values are under severe attack and the traditional foundation of the family seems to be crumbling, we need strong teaching on the Biblical view of marriage and the family.
1) Marriage is God-ordained. “The Creator made them male and female, and said, ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh’” (Matthew 19:4,5). God’s design for marriage goes back to mankind’s beginning. The family, as God’s means of propagating His creation, grows out of this primary human relationship.
Jesus reinforced this teaching: Haven’t you read,” he replied, “that at the beginning the Creator ‘made them male and female’ and said, ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh’? So they are no longer two, but one. Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate.” (Matthew 19:4-6).
2) The marriage relationship encompasses the deepest unity of man and woman in its spiritual, social and physical expressions. The first woman was declared to be a suitable helper for the man (Genesis 2:18), the perfect complement (Genesis 2:23). God intended them to share both blessings and responsibilities. Mutual esteem and self-giving love strengthen the marriage relationship. God intended this physical, emotional, intellectual, and spiritual union to be focused on one partner only.
3) Marriage is to be an exclusive relationship, a lifelong faithful union with one’s spouse. “What God has joined together, let man not separate” (Matthew 19:6). The Old Testament recognized the existence of polygamy (marriage to multiple partners), but still declared that monogamy (marriage to one partner) was the ideal (Psalms 128:3, Proverbs 5:18; 31:10-29; Ecclesiastes 9:9). “Lifelong” means monogamy and sexual fidelity until the death of one partner. Sexual expression with more than one partner violates the holiness of biblical marriage and thus is sin in God’s sight. Thus the fundamental meaning of the 7th commandment.
4) Marriage is a covenant, a solemn binding agreement made before God and man. The religious ceremony of the wedding before church and community emphasizes that marriage is more than a legal agreement between two individuals. The church has a responsibility to support and nurture the marriage that has been affirmed by public vows.
5) Marriage, ideally, the relationship between husband and wife should parallel the relationship between Christ and the Church (Ephesians 5:23-30). The husband should love his wife “as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her” (Ephesians 5:25). The wife should submit to her husband as the Church should submit to the Lord (Ephesians 5:22-24). But it is a misreading of Scripture, however, to conclude that the husband can become dictatorial. The entire passage is introduced by the admonition, “Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ” (Ephesians 5:21). It is only after each spouse submits one to another from a heart of love that the head/submission relationship will work. The husband has special responsibility for the spiritual leadership and welfare of the wife and family (Psalms 78:5-8, Ephesians 5:23). While the woman has responsibility as a parent, God has called the husband to be the leader in the home. The woman is not inferior to the man. Both have full dignity and equal standing before God. In homes where the father is not a Christian or refuses to provide spiritual leadership, it is right for the mother to assume this responsibility. Strong spiritual training is essential for children to develop spiritually (Proverbs 22:6).
A happy and complete marriage is realized as husband and wife make Christ the center of their marriage relationship. With Christ as the head, the marriage has an excellent chance to succeed.
Send a message to Stephen & Brooksyne
Ministry Update (Revised 12/11)
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